Dr. Muhammad Mahtab Hossain Mazed

Today Tuesday is International Men's Day 2024. The day is celebrated on November 19 every year as a major occasion to promote gender equality, boys and men's health and promote a positive image of men worldwide. According to information, the first proposal to celebrate Men's Day was made in 1994. But the history is quite old. Red Army and Navy Day was celebrated in the Soviet Union since 1922. This day was observed mainly to honor the bravery and sacrifice of men. In 2002, the day was named as 'Defender of the Fatherland Day'. This day was observed in the then Soviet Union countries including Russia, Ukraine.

However, it can be said that the day is celebrated in a similar way to Women's Day, not as an opponent. Since the 1960s, writing has been going on to celebrate Men's Day. Reportedly, in 1923, countless men demanded that International Men's Day be observed on March 4, similar to International Women's Day. At that time men designated February 23 as International Men's Day. In 1968, American journalist John P. Harris wrote in an article, gender discrimination in Soviet-Russia is severe. Although Women's Day is celebrated there, Men's Day does not exist. Harris then demanded the observance of Men's Day.

In the early 1990s, some institutions in the United States, Australia and Malta also organized several events to celebrate Men's Day in February. Although the programs did not receive much publicity, attendance was also low.

The first International Men's Day was celebrated in Trinidad and Tobago on 19 November 1999. Dr. Jerome Tilak Singh initiated an endowment to recognize the contribution of men. The first International Men's Day was celebrated on his father's birthday. Gradually, this is how November 19 became the face of men. Later it was decided to celebrate Men's Day on November 19 all over the world.

The day is celebrated in more than 80 countries of the world every year. Countries include - USA, UK, China, Canada, India, Pakistan, Croatia, Jamaica, Cuba, Scotland, Singapore, Malta, Canada, Denmark, Norway, Austria, Ukraine, etc. do not keep But if you are a man, today is a day you must remember. Because, the day is only yours. International Women's Day is as much discussed as Men's Day. Whether the discussion is more or less, the International Men's Day is celebrated on November 19 every year. You can understand by hearing the date, today is Men's Day. But why delay, be it father, brother, friend, colleague, husband or lover, wish the nearest man today. You can give any gift of your choice. And the day is in recognition of the positive role that men are playing in the family, society and the whole world. This day reminds us of the great men who have sacrificed themselves for the upbuilding of this human civilization throughout the ages. This day is playing a helpful role in raising awareness for the welfare of men. One of the 6 main themes of Men's Day is 'Promoting the relationship between men and women and ensuring gender equality for both men and women.'

> Topics and objectives of this day include-
1. Promotion of positive role models in various fields.
2. Celebrating men's contribution to society, community, family, marriage, childcare and the environment.
3. Emphasis on men's health and social, emotional, physical and spiritual development.
4. Equalizing all forms of discrimination against men in social services, behavior and expectations and laws.
5. Gender equality and development.
6. To build a safe and better world for people, where they can grow safely and to their full potential.

Why are men being bullied?

Nowadays, the bond of love in married life is much lighter than before. Besides, this is happening due to various reasons including degradation of social values, moral slippage, greed, luxury, alienation, drug addiction, economic inequality, harmful effects of globalization, free sky cultural flow. The ultimate consequence of which is the destruction and torture of the family. Both men and women are affected by family turmoil and family breakdown. All sections of society from high class to low class are constantly suffering from various family pains. In this case, many people in the society are extending a hand of sympathy to the victimized women. But in this male-dominated society, the fact that men can be oppressed is not in anyone's mind. As a result, the tragic story of male abuse remains hidden in most cases.

Analysts say that even if a man is abused by his wife, he cannot seek legal recourse. In most of the cases, they are forced to endure the torture of their wives in silence, being forced to fear the future of their children, social status, shame, jail-police and vice versa. Men cannot talk about torture even if they want to. On the other hand, if a woman abuses the law, she can easily file a woman abuse case or dowry case against the man in the police station or court.

Saidul Haque Saeed, Chairman of National Human Rights Organization, Human Rights Review Society
He said that besides wives being abused, many times men are also being subjected to physical and mental abuse by their wives. There is no specific law to prevent male violence. Five tribunals have been set up to deal with violence against women and children, but none for men. As a result, it is becoming difficult to provide legal assistance to the victims. Many men, from high-ranking socialites to low-class rickshaw pullers, come to us for legal help after suffering physical and mental abuse.

> Victims of Women's Violence Act

Development of a society and state cannot be imagined without women development. Therefore, many countries of the world are standing at the peak of development by expanding women's development. Our country has also come a long way in the field of women development. Since many times in the past, women in our country have surpassed men in all fields. Article 27, 28 and 29 of our constitution mentions the rights of women. On the other hand, there are several laws in the country for the protection of women. Among these, Women and Child Abuse Act-2000, Acid Prevention Act-2002, Family Violence and Suppression Act-2010, Dowry Prevention Act-1980 are notable. But unfortunately, although the laws were made for the protection of true women, these laws are currently being used by some women as a tool to suppress men. Self-interested women are misusing these laws to harass their husbands. On the other hand, the law of 'prevention of male violence' has not yet been created in the country. There is no anti-male violence tribunal. Those concerned say that the male victims are being deprived of legal services due to these reasons.

> Misapplication of Dowry Act

Abuse of dowry law is most common in cases of male abuse. Lawyers say most of the dowry laws are false and harassing. If there is a final quarrel on any family matter, it turns into a dowry case at the police station.If for any reason there is discord between the husband and wife or if the wife is divorced or if the wife is disciplined or if the wife is obstructed from her estrangement, the wife and her family members shall be brought to the police station or the court under 11(b) of the Abuse of Women and Children Act-2000 or the Prevention of Dowry Act-1980. Filed a case under section 4 of This one case is enough to make a man's life miserable.

The Deputy Commissioner of the Victim Support Center said that not only women but also men are victims of torture. Many men fall into the trap of bad girls. Collecting huge amount of money from them. Not only women but also men are being victimized by women. In this case, we keep many things secret outside of professional responsibility. We provide counseling and legal advice. And in the case of family cases, we have seen that dowry has nothing to do with the married life of husband and wife. But dowry case is given only in case of marital discord. The children of the family are also confused.

Mentioning that family cases cannot be prevented only by the police, he said that the number of male abuse is much less than that of women. You have to adapt yourself in the family. There should be a mentality of giving up. If there is a misunderstanding, it must be resolved among themselves. Torture must stop from home.

> Dowry scam

In our country, usually at the time of marriage, the bride forcefully forces the groom to pay the extra money in Kabin Nama. And in most cases these cabins are in the rest. That is, it was seen that according to the bride's claim, the cabin was 10 lakhs. Of this, for jewelry and other things, the entire balance is kept by showing payment of 2 to 3 lakh rupees. However, the Islamic rule is to pay the dowry in full at the time of marriage. But who listens to this? The remaining or additional dowry becomes tomorrow. Various case studies have revealed that due to excessive dowry, husbands are forced to accept immoral demands of their wives and their family members.

According to verse no-229 of Surah Al-Baqarah of the Holy Qur'an, if a wife wants to be freed from her husband, she must be in exchange for something; which will not be in excess of his dowry. Therefore, according to Islam, if the husband is harmed by the wife, the wife is obliged to compensate the husband. But according to our national law, even if the wife gives divorce to the husband, the husband has to pay dowry; Which is not completely compatible with Islam.
Finally, I would like to say that people who have good human qualities, are endowed with moral attributes and have good character traits can be called ideal people. These ideal people are the foundation of society. It is because of them that the society runs smoothly. Humanity is benefited. He is devoted to the welfare of all irrespective of caste, creed and caste. If a man has these qualities, he is called an ideal man. Just as an ideal mother is needed for an ideal child, an ideal man and woman are needed to form an ideal family; Similarly, ideal men are needed to build an ideal society and state. Because society and state are led by menAnd just as Allah had sent men with the responsibility of prophethood and messengership for the purpose of establishing religion, He also made men authoritative. Therefore, men should be developed as ideals for managing the nation-state, society-state. Then by them, the individual, the society and the state will all benefit, everyone will be able to live in peace and happiness.
And men and women are actually two pillars of society, on which a healthy and normal society stands. However, as crazy as Women's Day is, Men's Day is notAnd as the aim and objective of the day, several issues should be emphasized, increasing the health awareness of boys, teenagers and men, promoting the relationship between men and women, promoting equality between men and women, highlighting the importance of positive role models in men, men and boys. Various reforms developedand creating awareness against prejudice, celebrating the achievements and contributions of men and boysHighlighting the contribution of men in the field of society, family, marriage and childcare is another goal of this day. International Men's Day also tries to raise awareness about mental health problems among men and other health and social problems. Men are encouraged to socialize and interact with others. So International Men's Day can encourage a man to have values, character and responsibilities to be a good man.
According to the World Health Organization, suicide rates are higher among men under the age of 45. It is happening in many countries of the world including UK, USA, Australia, Russia. Statistics show that women suffer from depression more than men. But, men are more likely to commit suicide. Therefore, celebrating Men's Day is important for increasing social awareness and mental well-being among men.

Remember that Men's Day is not intended to compete with Women's Day. Rather, the purpose of this day is to highlight the social experience of men to everyone. So the day can be celebrated to raise awareness.

Author, Founder and Chairman, Jatiya Rogi Kallyan Society Organizer, columnist and researcher