By Sir Frank Peters

THE presentation of the annually coveted prestigious 'Thank you' Awards took place here last night amidst a freak sandstorm and gale force winds that destroyed celebrity tents and caused a mass camel stampede.

Despite the hostile weather conditions, many thousands of adoring fans from all age groups, braved the inhospitable elements and patiently gathered outside the main VIP tent hoping to get a glimpse of Jesus Christ and other luminaries from the worlds of entertainment, politics, and sport.

Superstar Jesus Christ, the tall, bearded, and handsome young philosopher and eligible bachelor attended the event with three of his apostles – Peter, Mark, and Luke – a day after his capacity-packed 'Sermon on the Mount' performance where, for the first time, he recited his new run-away philosophical hit that’s taking the nation by storm, ‘The Lord's Prayer ’.

Jesus was expected to scoop the pool of awards, but to everyone’s surprise and disappointment he succeeded in getting only one.

This angered the star-studded audience who rose to their feet, roared their disapproval, and openly accused officials of rigging the results.

In protest, popular media personality Frank Peters, walked out during the awards ceremony and said he was "shocked, outraged, and saddened" that Jesus had received only one 'Thank You' award despite having saved the lives of many people, including ten lepers.

“It’s unbelievable, outrageous, totally unfair, and unjust,” he told reporters gathered outside.

Jesus, who wore a loose-fitting, seamless, bright red robe, hand-made by his mother, Mary, showed no surprise or anger and sat meditatively towards the back throughout the supercharged controversial proceedings.

"I am not as forgiving as Jesus," said Mr Peters, who was visibly angry and upset.

"Without doubt, this has been the greatest travesty of justice of the century which will abhor all future generations to come," he told a media conference this morning.

"If this gifted young man cannot receive even a 'Thank You' for every life he saves, there is little or no hope for any of us ever being thanked for anything that we would do. How can saving the life of a human being be compared to any financial goodwill gesture we would perform?

"How could our deeds even come close to matching his?" he said.

"This has created a precedent of the worst kind,” he continued. “It's a heart-breaking, absurd thought, but it's now crystal clear to me that unless we wish to face disappointment, nobody should ever expect a 'thank you' from anyone for anything!”

Raising his voice, so those in the back could hear, he went on to say: "It is a black day in our history. A great injustice has been caused to Mr Jesus Christ, which reflects poorly upon all of us individually and collectively. What we allow to happen helps make us what we then become. We are a product of our own making and what has happened is not right… it’s just not right," he added.

BAD MANNERS

Professor Washim Akram, a human behavioural analyst from Palestine University, told the Palestine Post that bad manners in general were a flaw of character, but not confined just to lepers or those from poorer classes.

"It is common, particularly in inner tent areas, but the main cause is sub-standard education and poor upbringing," he said.

"Expressing thanks, seemingly, is no longer the norm. Sadly, good manners are on the decline and it's a sign of the times, which we must learn to accept and learn to live with or face disappointment.

"There will be some good, decent, honourable, well brought-up people who will always keep the noble tradition alive, but we should not expect too much from people in general who are unable to experience thanks-giving. It’s in the nature of these people to just want to take, not give. Generous allowances must be made for the unaware, ignorant, and uneducated and we, ourselves, must teach them by example.

"I feel the man they call Jesus would want it that way," Professor Akram said.

Mr Peters said he would continue to thank those to whom he's grateful irrespective of the growing trend to do the opposite. He said he finds bad manners inexcusable, deplorable, and a blight on the person’s family upbringing.

"A gesture of kindness extended is a previous 'thank you' remembered," he philosophised.

It was mooted earlier this year to widen the scope of the prestigious 'Thank You' Awards and embrace all of Europe, including Syria and Damascus. The fiasco that erupted last night, however, appears to have dampened the enthusiasm of organisers and financial investors.

Most officials today were being very tight-lipped about the future of 'Thank You' in general as the most appropriate expression of gratitude despite its financially economic attributes.

One well-known city councillor, who wished to remain anonymous, told Palestine Post:

"The fabric of society on the whole is fraying at the ends. The 'Thank you' controversy is another indication of this sorrowful erosion and, yes, it's sad ... very sad and very disrespectful. We all suffer in the human community as a consequence.

"It should be made abundantly clear, however, that under the rules of the existing honours system Mr Jesus Christ could have won at least ten 'Thank You' award trophies – if not more – but the reality is, he was nominated for the award by only one of the ten lepers.

"We must always remember, it's the sole moral responsibility of the beneficiary of any kindness or courtesy, big or small, to thank the benefactor and of no one else," he said.

Today, Jesus, whose popularity and philosophical uptake is rapidly gaining momentum, was distributing clothing and food to the homeless and disadvantaged people in outer villages. He was not available for comment.

The writer is an humanitarian, an anti corporal punishment crusader, a former newspaper and magazine publisher and editor, an award-winning writer, and human rights activist.)